it shouldn't be this hot at 1am, really

Saturday I had two parties to attend. One was Marla and Justin's engagement party. I ended up leaving about 15 seconds before the food was served, but I had a pretty good time anyway. I did feel somewhat out of place, as I didn't know the majority of the people there. I did get to see a couple people I haven't seen in a long time so that allowed me a bit of social respite. Before they showed up I spent most of my time walking between the snacks and the couple people I did know, trying not to look or feel pathetic for not hamming it up with strangers. It was good to be able to celebrate a little with Marla and Justin though, I am really happy for 'em and they deserve the best. The coolest thing I saw was Justin's son Luke running up to Marla when she was showing us into the party. For some reason I thought that was Very Good (TM).

I went back to Adam's going-away party after leaving Marla's mansion in Sunol. Adam of course is one of my best, oldest friends, the loan shark from 7th grade turned buddy. He's traveling to Japan for at least one year with the JET program. Again at this party I saw a few people I hadn't seen in a long time and that's always nice. The party did inspire certain weird feelings in me, however.

I never went away to college, having attended a junior college in Fremont and then Cal State Hayward. Adam was at Cal and for a while I visited him and his friends up there often, often enough to the point where I considered many of them my friends. I associate them heavily with college memories and fun memories, as getting out of Fremont immediately makes doing anything that much more exciting. I could go sit at a coffee shop in Berkeley instead of a coffee shop in Fremont and feel like I did something 10 times better. But anyway it was one of those times where in my head I was getting the feeling that one part of my life was definitely closing up. Never again would the bunch of us sit around in Adam and Andy's sty of an apartment trying to decide where to go. I mean, Chris lives in San Jose, Andy in Emeryville, Jasmine in San Mateo, Nancy in the City, Adam in freakin' Japan...so even though I never lived up in Berkeley with these guys I felt a sense of...nostalgia(?)...at Adam's on Saturday. How much moreso for them? I am excited for where my life will be heading soon, but that doesn't stop me from missing what's just passed. Seeing Jeff and Matt also sparked such feelings in me, as these were guys I spent much of my time with from, in Jeff's case, 5th grade, and now we barely ever see each other. Sometimes growing up is overrated. So many different people and relationships to keep up, that I want to keep up - and that's not to mention work responsibilities etc.

I suppose that's enough unformed thought for one evening.

I've been in a 'discussion' with a friend of mine for the past week or so talking about Calvinism. It has challenged me to delve into the Bible like I haven't in a long time and to do some investigation, so that's good. Our responses are taking longer and longer to get back, as we get more and more into it. The funny thing to me was that my arguments with Kevin regarding what I see as a lack of free will in his viewpoint seem similar to Adam's discussion with me about free will. Maybe I'll elaborate more on that later. I personally think everyone should just admit that I'm right about everything and make the proper adjustments in their lives. That would make everything better.


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