I'd just like to say that God is good. Really good. I totally don't deserve the blessings He gives me. I'm not really sure what else to say, so I guess that's that. Except one thing I've been thinking. Sometimes I consider good things in my life, or maybe good things I want, and I think that maybe I need to do things to deserve them. Even on a subconscious level - I think that if only I am better at this or that God will deign me worthy for something. One thing I have learned in the past month, on a heart level, is that I will never be worthy of the great blessings in my life. And God has chosen to bless me with a relationship not because I'm worthy, but because He loves me. I am able to see new dimensions of that love through the relationship, appreciate God in new ways, and in fact praise Him more because of it. Janelle makes me want to be a better man and serve Christ more. So God blesses me not because I am worthy - I am not - He blesses me and then I become closer to worthy. It's like a reminder that it's God that does the transforming, the justification, the healing - not me. Or something.

The 49ers are pretty much doing everything they can to avoid a winning season. After the drubbing they gave Chicago I was expecting good things - but it's not looking good. Thankfully, the 4-12 and 6-10 seasons we endured a couple years back have prepared me to deal with losses. Still though, I was expecting better and it is disappointing. Maybe they'll get scrappy and fight for a playoff spot. But they are not playing Super Bowl caliber football and even if they get to the playoffs I'd be disappointed if they didn't win it all.

Thank goodness for the other sports in the Bay Area.

My beloved A's are in the playoffs and looking good. I actually get to go to the first game with Netters on Wednesday evening, that should be a good time. I've never been to a baseball playoff game, so I'm greatly looking forward to it. Playoff intensity games yes, but actual playoffs no. Did you know there's an A in playoffs?

Aside from that, Cal knocked off #3 ranked USC this weekend! I was explaning to Janelle this weekend, I love it when my little local teams get national exposure.

I should be moving either this week or early next week into a new place, my first new place, with Jesse and Nate. I am really stoked about that. Finances will become quite a bit tighter - but I'm ready for that. Having my own place will mean we can have bbq after bbq - and that's really what life is about.


there is a hole in your mind

Last week was just about the craziest week of my life. Oneeighty got off the ground and I think it was a success. In general the feedback was positive - of course there are many things we can improve, but I am satisfied with what we have so far. I was most touched by everyone pitching in the way they did; I am truly blessed with an awesome group of people to minister with.

Anyway the real thing that inspired me to post was this. Many of you may have seen the Star Wars Kid (as he has now been dubbed). This poor 15 year-old in Quebec taped himself pretending to be Darth Maul, and now everyone knows about it. Anyway over at jedimaster.net they have a bunch of remixes. And this Matrix one is too cool.

It's still freakin' hot in the Bay Area.


the name of the game

It has been a while. I've been wanting to make my post a good one but if I wait forever then I'll just never post again. So you're stuck with what you get. Finally this new church start I've been talking about has a name and a website. You can see it here. The website is still under development, but we've got it. We are practicing the service this weekend and youth group, and then next week we have our preview service. The preview service is to give us a little more leeway as we finalize what we're working on. It will make Oct 19th the 'kickoff' service where we have printed invites and programs and all that good stuff. Last night Janelle asked me what the scariest thing I'd done in my life was - and starting this new church is definitely it. There's a lot going into it and I am just hoping (praying) that I am a good steward of where God has placed me.

This weekend Crossroads is doing the concert, wherein the entire church service consists of the band performing songs. I'm singing backup in a few songs which is no biggie, singing Good Riddance and doing Mike Shinoda's part on Somewhere I Belong. I was worried that the LP song would come out lame, but I think it's going to turn out okay. I just need to figure out how to entertain myself on stange for the 1:30 or so that is left of the song after I'm done. Heh.

It is freakin' hot in the Bay Area.


he was reaching through the morning air

So the past few weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. I think this is when life starts to get back to normal. I mean, it's different...but not different like the past few weeks have been. Someone pretty amazing came into my life and now she's going to be down south for the upcoming school year and then may even be out of the country for a couple months after that. I was blessed to be able to have some time down in Santa Barbara with her Monday. In fact I'm blessed by the whole relationship. It's funny how we can find ways to even make the most wonderful things into things to complain about though. When we said goodbye yesterday morning it hadn't really hit me yet. Driving home, I was primarily concerned with getting back in time for my meeting, which I did. At the meeting I looked at my calendar and we started discussing all the upcoming stuff this month (it's a crazy busy month) and always on my mind was how she won't be here, and I'm not going to be able to see her for four weeks best case scenario. It's a different kind of loneliness than I've felt before.

Okay, okay, okay, that's enough emo. Dangerously close to getting whiny and wistful here. Yeesh.

Anyway I have a lot of work to throw myself into and I feel prepared to do it. Almost energized even. Really the worst thing going in my life right now is the fact that this amazing woman that cares about me is down in So Cal instead of here with me. I've felt close to God these past few weeks and I am eager to continue this on. I really feel His hand on my life right now and I'm pretty stoked about that.

Just checkin' in I s'pose. Kevin did send me a reply a couple weeks ago for this conversation and I'll put it up sometime soon. I may even respond to it sometime soon. I haven't forgotten...I've just had more important things on my mind of late.