happy easter

So Happy Easter to you all, I hope you're having a good one. I'm currently waiting for Janelle to get home, she stayed during the second service at Crossroads to help watch the little kids.

I ran into one of the women I wanted to shame by declaring their foolishness in assuming I was having a boy. I went up to her after the church service and said "We're having a girl," and as I was proceeding to say "in your face" she interrupted me with some sort of girly shout of glee and a torrent of encouraging, happy, and excited things poured out of her mouth. I didn't really have it in me to continue to try to rub her wrongness in. Sometimes people make it so difficult to be a right proper curmudgeon!

This past Friday, on Good Friday, I helped put together a bit of a Good Friday worship time. Instead of a church service, we set up the church building with four worship "stations." People got a paper that guided them through each station, and at each stop they would spend time reflecting on something different, all in the vein of Good Friday and in an attempt to give Easter some context.

The first station was about our need for a savior - it was a reminder that all humanity is sinful, that we all mess up, and none of us can justify ourselves before a holy God. We had a list of Bible verses people could look up to remind themselves that they're in need of some divine intervention, and we also had some bitter herbs and saltwater on a table. In Jewish tradition, bitter herbs serve as a reminder of the bitterness of captivity in Egypt - we used them here for people to taste as a reminder of the bitterness of sin, and as a reminder that we are all in captivity to the darker parts of ourselves when we're without God.

The second station was about the life of Christ. We had a list of verses about Jesus' life that people could look through to remind themselves of the kind of life Jesus lived. He healed the sick, loved the untouchables, and called the religious to a life of submission to the Father and participation in the Kingdom of God. he claimed to be the Messiah, and stirred up some trouble. So we had Bibles out for people to look stuff up, as we did at each station, and a TV showing parts of the recent movie, "The Gospel of John." I really appreciate the guy who played Jesus in that, I think He did a great job and I enjoyed his interpretation of Jesus' attitude during some of the scenes.

The third station was for communion. We had a table with some bread and juice and candles, and encouraged people to read an account of the Last Supper in the Bible. The night before His crucifixion Jesus gathered His disciples, washed their feet, and shared the Last Supper with them. At that time they had no idea what He meant when He said "this is my body, broken for you," and "this is my blood of the new covenant." So we encouraged people to take the time to sit and read the account and take communion themselves.

At the last station, we had a large wooden cross laying on the ground, with some nails and hammers near it. We also had the Passion of the Christ movie showing on a screen there. The text in our handout reminded them that Jesus died for our sins and our imperfections. He lived a perfect life and didn't deserve this fate, but endured it for our sake. People could, if they wanted to, drive a nail of their own into the cross, as a tangible reminder that we are the cause of and reason for Jesus' sacrifice. So often we sanitize the story of Jesus' Passion, and forget just how much we need Him. Christians can get awfully self-congratulatory and talk about how Jesus died for all those sinners, all the while forgetting that we ourselves are in desperate need of God's grace. It was particularly moving/touching/disturbing to watch the scene of Jesus' crucifixion, with the Romans driving nails into Jesus, while hearing someone pound their nail into the cross.

And that was it - after people went through those four stations, that was the end. Good Friday doesn't have a happy ending. Jesus is dead. This man who came, living a perfect life, performing miracles and loving the rejected, was betrayed and crucufied. What must that have felt like for those who loved Him? Saturday must have been a really dark day. And we invited people to live in that Saturday and try to give Easter a real context. On Easter we celebrate Jesus rising, but so often we forget how He died, why He died, and our part in all of it. Easter was a lot more joyful for me after having gone through that stuff with Good Friday.

I think we'll do it again next year, with some more fine tuning and whatnot. But overall I was happy with what we did - mostly because unlike many ministry endeavors, this was only about bringing people to a place where they could, individually or with their families, focus their attention on Jesus. It was so awesome to see parents going through with their kids, reading scripture, telling them the story, as a family. It was great to know that nothing about that night was bringing focus anywhere but on Jesus - and when you're doing that, you know that you're doing the right thing. So unlike many ministry tasks it was easy to know that this "worked," if only for the reason that its complete focus was on Jesus. I want every ministry work to feel that way.

Okay this post has gone on quite long. Have a great Easter!

more on the daughter thing

To answer Netters' question - I wasn't sure what to expect going into the ultrasound. I was, in fact, quite intent on not expecting anything. Multiple women at my church had made a point of telling Janelle and I with a high degree of certainty that we were having a boy. They used such scientifically sound indicators as feeling sick and having heartburn to prove we were having a male child. Of course I questioned their assessments and told them their old wives' tales had no sway with me, but they brushed aside my objections and said with all conviction, "it's a boy, you'll see." So when we went into the ultrasound place I was actually hoping we'd have a girl, if only to prove these people and their prognostications wrong. So when the doctor-type-lady told us we were having a girl, I cheered. Being the graceful type, there's nothing I love more than shoving someone else's errors in their face, which is something I will gleefully do the next time I encounter these women.

I have also decided, after having a day to reflect on it, that I am very excited about having a daughter. I think it's going to be awesome. Now that I've been able to see the baby forming (although I must admit some of the angles during the babyview yesterday were pretty frightening) and hear her heartbeat - and now that I know she's a she - she's a lot more real to me. I'm excited to meet her and take her to A's games and tell her how great she is and see what she's going to be like. I'm going to like being a dad, and I think I might even be able to get over the fact that I'm going to be wiping someone else's butt.

it's a girl

Today we discovered that the baby Janelle's carrying is in fact a girl. In 12-13 years I will be a very paranoid man.

whew

I was out of commission for most of yesterday. As I mentioned before I was super sore, exhausted, and if I moved too fast I'd get light-headed. I felt miserable and so took it easy most of the day. I stayed home with Janelle and rested, drank my fluids, took my medicine, and watched the A's game before going to bed earlier than usual. So today I just have a bit of a cough, which aggravates a headache...but I feel much better.

I also feel great about the A's after the last two games. Yesterday they fell behind 4-0 pretty quickly, and the past couple years they would've packed it in and lost against a quality team like New York. Instead, though, they pulled it out and whomped the Yankess 9-4. One particular moment sticks out in my mind - the A's had bases loaded with one out. It seems like just about every time they're faced with that situation they find a way to screw it up. I was convinced they'd continue that trend, but apparently Frank Thomas is unfamiliar with that custom because he belted a bases-clearing double. I've gotta say I love the look of our team, and I have high hopes for this season. That may of course be my downfall come October...but the A's are going to be a lot of fun to watch this year. Yes yes, it's just one series, but I am so glad it's baseball season once again.

marco! scutaro!

Good old Scutaro, comin through in the bottom of the 9th. The game last night was great, with lead changes, stressful situations (Yankees were 1-15 with runners in scoring position), Giambi heckling, and an A's victory. Couldn't ask for too much more. I took a student from the youth group with me and he too had a good time. I'm glad I went to this game for free instead of the Monday game for sixty bucks. Huzzah.

This morning I woke up with a lot of aches and pains. I feel exhausted and my body hurts, but I'm not sure why. I think I might be coming down with something...I've never had the flu before, and I hope this isn't it. But I definitely have something going on with me. Not good timing.

I'm trying to find a video that's somewhere between 30 seconds and a minute, 1 1/2 minutes max, that has a lot of footage from storms/rain/flooding/damage to homes, etc. If any of you billions of readers know where I can get my hands on one that'd be cool. I'm putting together a project for school, I present this upcoming Monday and I want some kind of clip like that.

play ball

Here we go...the beginning of April, the beginning of another season of baseball, the sport that now rivals football in my heart. I love almost everything about baseball. I love that it's a half-hour away - if you're bored on a summer evening (and you actually have the time, which is something different entirely) then you can hop over to the Coliseum and watch the game for a few bucks. I love that during the season there's always something to talk about, and more often than not there's a game on. I love the battle between pitcher and batter - and sometimes between pitcher and catcher, deciding whether to throw the high heat and blow it past them or trick em with a curve ball. I love the glimmer of hope in a two-out rally, the crushing despair of watching one fall short, and the utter elation of a walk-off hit. I love the marathon - that even if your team blows it for a week they can come back and make a run of it. I love the hope of Opening Day, when every team is 0-0 and even the Devil Rays can lead the Yankees in the standings.

Baseball is freakin sweet, and it's on again. Tonight the A's play the Yankees - provided the game isn't rained out. Due to school I won't be able to attend tonight's game, but because of the generosity of one Julia Walker, I'll be sitting field-level tomorrow night to watch Rich Harden torch the Evil Empire. It'll be cold, it'll probably be rainy - but I don't care. Bring on the Big Dogs, bring on the trash talking, and bring on the unadulterated elation and devastating disappointment that is baseball.

long time

Okay it's worse than usual, these spurts between posting. School has been knocking me around like its little stepchild. I'm using up all my emotional and intellectual energy on real life stuff. So as it states two posts down, I'm not dead.

things not to say to your wife

When discussing the possibility of taking a trip together, don't say this.

"Remember how our friends in Chicago were talking about taking a trip somewhere this summer? I'd rather spend a lot on that trip and flight, and then you and I can just drive somewhere nice."

It's a very dumb thing to say.

it's ash wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. I mistakenly thought Lent started a couple weeks ago, which meant that once again it was "too late" for me to give something up for Lent. I've never given up anything for Lent, and after last year I really felt like I should give something up, just for the experience of it.

We've been going through the Sermon on the Mount in youth group the past few weeks, and we finished the part that says "don't do your acts of righteousness before men." Jesus talks about how when we fast, we should wash our face and do other such things so we don't let on that we're fasting. Because if we do that, then we could be doing it for the approval of others, so they'll appreciate how religious and devoted we are. So I won't be telling anybody what I give up for Lent. But I will give up something.

Suggestions on what I should give up? I'll take some, and then pick something. It's gotta be something that means something to me - I can't give up eating fish or watching romantic comedies.

And don't say video games, because I'm not going to give those up for Lent.

i still function

Really, I do. I've been awfully busy lately. I'm about to start getting ready to head to school but I haven't done half the reading for the past week. Normally in my college career this wouldn't be a big deal, as that was usually the case while I got my History degree. But since I've been at GGBTS I've been reading all my stuff. And in my first class we have weekly quizzes on the stuff. So here's hoping I'm able to make it fine anyway today. I hope to post something interesting and meaningful soon. But not now.

so i was wrong

I was wrong. The Evil Team won the game. But if you watched that game, was it not clear that the Seahawks were jobbed by the refs? I mean, call after call went against them when it shouldn't have. Big Ben's "TD run" that shouldn't have been, the push-off that wasn't really, the phantom holding call, the "oh the Steelers called a timeout before the play clock hit zero even though everybody saw it hit zero first." All of these were important calls that had a pretty big impact on the outcome of the game. So if you ask me the Seahawks got ripped off. They didn't help themselves much with some poor clock management and spotty playcalling, but I think if the Refs had gotten the calls right, the outcome of the game would have been different.

da supah bowl

So finally after two weeks of hype, the Super Bowl is here. As a big football fan, I've been looking forward to the Bowl with some hesitation. Since my team isn't in it, my heart isn't all aflutter about it. I didn't start with a particular rooting interest. I'm also hoping this game turns out better than your typical Super Bowl, which is only slightly more entertaining than watching paint dry. Unless of course your team is in it and they're wiping the floor with the opposition, like the 49ers' last Super Bowl against the Chargers. Even though that game must've been boring for a lot of people, for me it was 3 hours of glory. A coronation, if you will. Unfortunately I think it'll be a little while before we can expect that again from the beloved 49ers.

In the two weeks since the championship games, though, I've developed a rooting interest in one of the teams. I hereby consider the Pittsburgh Steelers the badguys, and the Seattle Seahawks the goodguys. Let us consider a few reasons Pittsburgh can be considered the evil team.

1. Pitt wears black.
2. They're called the STEEL-ers. You're not fooling anyone with that homonym crap, Pittsburgh.
3. Joey Porter said that he could mug both Jerramy Stevens (of the Seahawks) and anybody stupid enough to rely on Stevens for protection in a dark alley. Truly this is a paragon of humanity that I want to see experience the joy of victory.
4. Black and yellow are bee colors, and nobody likes to be around bees. They sting you for no good reason.

Then we consider the Seahawks, who have been totally walked on by everybody this past two weeks. Nobody is giving them much of a chance against the Steelers. Sure, most of the picks you see have the Steelers winning by one or three points to throw the Hawks a bone, but it's a rare talking head that picks the Seahawks to win. Granted, Pittsburgh trounced the 1-2-3 seeds in the AFC, on the road. That's no small feat. But the Seahawks dominated the NFC from wire to wire, and they have good players too. They've performed when they've needed to and earned their way to the Superbowl, even if they did get to play the 49ers twice. They have a quality offense and a stouter defense than most give them credit for. I hereby declare them the "good" team. Here are my reasons.

1. Matt Hasselbeck is going bald but refuses to shave that little crown of hair around his head. That's the sign of a true man, and a good guy. He's not beholden to your conception of what a balding man should do. So n'yahh!
2. Shaun Alexander is generally considered by everyone he's played against as a really nice guy. And check out his smile. Could a smile like that be evil? No way.
3. They're from Seattle. Nothing evil has ever come out of Seattle!
4. Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) has picked the Seahawks to win big.
   

So I'm picking Seattle to win, and I'm rooting for Seattle to win. I'm guessing a 28-24 Seattle win. Matt Hasselbeck or Shaun Alexander will win MVP with a performance where Seattle proves they were better than people thought. But all the talking heads will say "we knew Seattle was good, and give them credit for winning" while at the same time they will apologize left and right for the Steelers and how they played dinged up and just ran out of gas after that incredible run at the end of the regular season and into the postseason. Then Sports Illustrated will sell "Team of Destiny" packs with videos and a special commemorative edition of the magazine in tribute to the 2005 Seahawks, which nobody will buy because nobody cares about West Coast sports.

curtis

Tonight I attended the memorial service for Curtis Olinger, who committed suicide last week. I've never known somebody who died like this. When I first found out a week ago, it was an odd feeling. It's still weird to think about it in some ways. The thought that somebody you know and care about could undergo the kind of emotions that can lead to a decision like that - it's not something you like to consider.

I wasn't particularly close to Curtis, but I had the pleasure of being his cabin leader during Snow Camp last year, and talking to him when I subbed at Washington from time to time. He was an awesome kid, and had a lot more depth to him than many. I remember his eyes - they had a peculiar quality to them. I always felt there was a lot going on behind them, and I wanted in. He had an incredible sense of humor, and a way of making people laugh that I can only envy. Curtis was tremendously gifted with intelligence, creativity, a good heart, and any other number of things I know nothing about. By all accounts he was a stellar young man, and I am glad for the short time I had to know him. God only knows what he could have done with his life, had this not happened.

I can and do take solace in the fact that recently Curtis decided to trust God with his eternity and Christ's sacrifice on the cross for his forgiveness. At the service, they showed a video of Curtis being baptized. Apparently he made the decision to follow Christ late one night at summer camp, and wanted to publicly declare it immediately. So after 11 that night everyone gathered around the pool and they baptized him. The video was very short - but they showed it a few times. There Curtis was, going under the water and coming back up. This smile crept over his face - it almost looked like a private smile, right there in front of everybody. Again, I wasn't close to him, but it looked to me like he had genuine hope, and joy. Now I know that smile he had, the joy that it displayed - now that joy has completely overwhelmed him. The pains and tortures he felt here on earth are now gone.

We can spend time trying to think about how Curtis was feeling when he took his life - but thank God that we don't have to. There is definitely something missing in those who knew and loved him. But I prefer to remember the smile Curtis had. The way he could make you so uncomfortable but laugh so incredibly hard at the same moment. The way he, whether he knew it or not, blessed those around him with his personality in a very unique way. I can honestly say I've never known anyone like Curtis.

I also choose to remember that the joy he knew in part here on earth, he now knows in full. The God of Love he put his faith in here on earth - that God is now known to Curtis in a way we here on this side can only dream about. All the pain and brokenness and loneliness he felt is now replaced with restoration and wholeness and a joy beyond description. Curtis, buddy, we'll miss you. You beat us there. But we'll see you again. And I hope you've perfected your shimmy by then, because we could all use a good laugh on your account.

state of the union

In case you're completely out of touch with current events, yesterday George Bush gave the State of the Union (SOTU for those who love acronyms) address. I read the speech but didn't watch it. I have spent some time watching and reading fallout from the speech, however, and I have an observation or two.

First, there are a large number of people who will never be happy with what the President does, no matter what he does or what he says. I kept up with a forum where people were commenting on the speech as it went. It was full of comments about how ridiculous what he was saying was, how he sounded stupid, how they thought he delivered that line arrogantly or that other line too wooden. Comments about "AmeriKKKa" and whatnot were rampant. Around the web, wherever you have people talking about the speech, you have people making inane insulting comments toward the President. Seriously, people.

I am not a Bush apologist. I was less "aware" when Clinton was President, but I still thought he got the short end of the stick a fair amount too. Politics seems to bring out the worst in people. Everyone thinks they know better, or they want to "fight the man" and they do so by repeating the talking points of whatever radical organization they last found on the internet. Criticism of the President is fully legitimate, but at least base it in reality people. Or complain about reasonable things.

I've also noticed a lot of people getting worked up about the fact that Cindy Sheehan was removed from the building because she had an anti-war t-shirt on. They talk about how it's proof that the USA has become some sort of Neocon (the new favorite word to describe those nefarious conservatives) Police State, where free speech is no longer allowed. Nevermind the fact that demonstration isn't allowed in the capitol buliding, and that a Republican had his wife removed because she was wearing a pro-war shirt. People just want to criticize the President and they hate his guts, no matter what.

If there's any lesson here, besides an object lesson in the ridiculous nature of politics, it's a lesson on the importance of your perceived integrity and image. If people don't like you, then it won't matter what you say or what you do - they simply will not like you. But if you establish yourself as a likeable, trustworthy person, then you will be given more latitude. Granted, some people will never like you - but it is important if you are an influential person to recognize the importance of not making unnecessary enemies, and to remember that your character cannot be separated from your message. If people think you lack character they will never listen to you and never follow you. If they think you do have character, they will listen to and respect you even if they don't agree with you.

Everyone worth their salt will do the above, at least. There are plenty of people who simply want to rage against the machine and be cool, plenty of "college radicals" who think it's so cutting edge to hate this or that. Plenty of people who won't think things through and simply accept what they're told. Man people like that are annoying when they're so vitriolic and vocal in their hatred. If you're going to disagree with someone or something, fine. But have some integrity about it.