mosquitos can all burn in the fiery depths of hell

That may sound a little harsh. But let's all realize what time it is. It's now 6:02am on a Sunday morning. A Sunday in which I will be very busy until I drive down to Santa Barbara after youth group, which ends around 9 or 9:30. Why am I up at this time? I have been the victim of the single most bloodthirsty mosquito God ever cursed the earth with.

I'm not sure when I first woke up last night...but I woke up itching my right arm, about halfway between the shoulder and elbow. This in and of itself was not alarming to me. After a short while I was back asleep.

A small buzzing near my ear woke me up an indeterminate amount of time later. I think it was sometime around 3am. It was at that point I realized I was not alone in my room and that itching on my arm had developed into a bump. I swatted at the empty air a bit in a desperate, delerious attempt to kill my would-be attacker, but to no avail. I wasn't sure what kind of bug was in my room; I didn't recognize the distinctive buzzing of a mosquito and thought surely it must be some other form of small insect. Due to the hour I figured I would just go to sleep and it would go away. In order to gain some sort of protection, I wrapped myself up in my blanket as tightly as I could, exposing only my head. My head has ears, you see, which would theoretically warn me of the creature's approach, so I figured I would be safe. Such is my thought process in a mostly-sleeping state.

Alas, the vermin I was cursed with was no mere gnat. It was a mosquito. A mosquito of the most vicious kind.

I woke again later, this time with a terrible itching on the inside of my foot. It seems my sleeping self had very little interest in protection from this ravaging insect. I was annoyed, and realized the bloodsucker had paid another visit to my right arm. Frustrated, I scratched at my foot. But I wasn't sure what to do. It was 4am. It was dark. It was a freakin' mosquito.

Surely the beast drank its fill, I think to myself. There's no way it would keep sucking my blood. It's gotta be full. With that I determined I would go back to sleep and make sure I got enough rest for my busy day. I scratched a thousand psychosomatic itches and allowed myself to sleep.

It seems, however, that the vile thing had not finished its feast most foul...its feast of blood. Upon waking I immediately realized I'd caught it on my left wrist; it fled when I shook my hand and uttered an incoherent but umistakably angry "Augh!" I am not convinced that this bug wasn't trying to open my wrists up so it could bathe in a river of blood. It had found a target that wouldn't move and was probably beside itself with excitement. Realizing its window may be short, my nemesis must have resolved to kill me as I slept. Unfortunately for the mosquito, that would be the last time it sucked the life out of anyone's veins.

After realizing this bug would not rest until my spirit was loosed from my body I decided I had to get up. Sure it was 5:45am and sure I had a long day...but if I'm not careful I may end up a dried up husk by the time I really want to get up. So I got up, turned on my light, and looked around for my adversary. It was nowhere to be found. Rather than spend my time in a fruitless search for vengeance, I decided to be the bigger man and vent about the experience on my blog.

No doubt delerious from the massive intake of blood it had received all night, the mosquito went for one last run at me. In a wakened and angry state, however, that mosquito soon learned it would be unable to draw any more sweet sweet blood from this victim. This final attempt on my life made me realize this was one foe that would not be satisfied until I lay still and lifeless; as such, I knew I must do most righteous battle with it.

I stood with my back to the door of my room and surveyed the situation. I calmly searched the room for my antagonist. Eventually I saw it, bloated and evil, on the wall between my room and Jesse's. Doubtless it could sense the presence of another life through those walls and was planning its next victim. Never had it been more obvious that I must vanquish this vulgar affront to all of creation. Clearly it was some ancient god come to life, beginning its return to unholy power and depravity right here in Fremont. Thankfully for all of mankind, I was up to the task; grasping my Rainbow Sandal, which shone like Excalibur in my hand, I strode forward to embrace my destiny.

Swollen as it was with my blood, the olde god dodged my clumsy attack. There was a loud crack as the sandal hit the wall; my roommates may have been disturbed, but surely they would understand. I was saving their lives. Nay, saving the very planet from this marauding villain. I soon realized that the sandal made an inadequate weapon and searched for another suitable implement of destruction. I felt my hand guided to a paper on my desk - it was from a Bible Study Jesse had led on the Holy Spirit. As I lifted and unfolded the paper like some holy parchment, my enemy alighted on the wall in front of me. Now was the time to strike.

My approach was slow, but the killing blow came faster than even this abomination of desolation could have anticipated. I pulled the page from the wall and saw my blood there. Colorful and red and alive - the blackness of the fiend's soul had not yet fully contaminated it. As I stared at the body of this once mighty death-monger, I was filled with a mix of disgust and respect; it had secured many times its body weight in my own lifeblood. I breathed a sigh of relief and sat in my chair, free from the glutton's tyranny.

And now, in a world liberated from one more danger, I sit here and share my tale with you. Perhaps I should have warned at the outset it was not for the faint of heart. But what has been written has been written, and sometimes an exposure to the truly horrific things in life can grow a person. It is my hope that rather than being traumatized by my harrowing experience, you are invigorated and emboldened to continue the fight against the menace that threatens to consume us all. The mosquito.

[picture removed because it's kinda gross]

It's a dark world we live in people. We must be ever vigilant.


roleplaying games are the devil

Observe, incontrovertible proof that RPG's influence kids to worship Satan. This really is an accurate portrayal of many a gaming session I've been a part of. Ahh, memories...


must resist urge to flame

I used to do a lot of arguing/discussing online. I did this with atheists and agnostics mostly, trying to convince them that Christianity isn't a load of crap. I would also argue about other less important things, from politics to evolution and what have you. One thing about arguing online is that you are bascially typing into a machine - you're not looking anybody in the face. As such it is easier to be a punk to them, to be a bit colder and to express your frustration with their inability to make a point.

I posted a question on a forum asking for the input of others on birth control methods. This forum is one primarily for those in youth ministry, so most of the people there are Christian. There are a wide range of beliefs held by the people on the forums, so there's still interesting discussion. I would suppose some of the most annoying arguments you can have are with a bunch of people who all think they know what God says about some particular thing.

Anyway if you want to see me get argumentative online, see this thread. I am doing my best to be civil, but it is difficult. I have to try hard to not become a flame warrior. Sometimes I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall. I know it's a long thread so you don't have to look through it obviously, or you could just find my posts.

I suppose my point is this - it can be really frustrating to have someone tell you that what you're doing is against God's will but not provide you with any reasoning for it. It's frustrating because I get this sense that they feel superior or wiser than me, like they have some sort of inside track on God. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and guess that these people are honestly trying to follow Christ and don't think in their heads that they are better or wiser than me. But from this side it sure seems like it. I wonder if I ever come off that way, despite my best intentions, when I am sharing Christ or His message with others. Something to think about.


it's just not the same without a laptop

For some reason I vastly prefer updating this when I'm on my laptop. There's something about the clicking of that particular keyboard that makes typing satisfying. The keyboard for my desktop is some dusty dinosaur I've had forever. This thing has been hooked up to many a machine. Oh well, here I am anyway. If the keyboard had feelings it might feel special. Or resentful.

80 days till I am married. It's comin' up fast. I'm excited for it to happen - I'm also excited to see how God will be providing financially for Janelle and I. If you know of any good/clean places in the Fremont area let me know. Same with any good jobs - Janelle is looking. I'm working as much as I can in the subbing business before school lets out. We'll see what happens. The bottom line is I'm excited to be marrying the woman of my dreams and embarking on this next part of my life with her.

Because I use blogger I was invited to test out the new gmail thing that Google is releasing. I'm not sure how I feel about an e-mail system that looks for keywords in your mail and spams you based on them...but I figure it can't hurt to at least mess with it. If you want to e-mail my gmail account, you can send a note to jperdue@gmail.com. Just putting that out there has thrown the e-mail address into the dark scary world of internet spiders and whatnot. We'll see just how good they are at filtering spam.


i always thought they did grooming there

""Petco Park might be the place where homers go to die, but PETCO stores are where animals go to die." - Dan Shannon, PETA. From this article.


meant to post this a while ago

Sometimes when I'm around my computer but not the internet I write posts in notepad that I intend on putting up here. I found one today, I wrote it sometime in February or March. So anyway, I figured I went through the work of typing it then so I'd put it up...

This morning during my first period prep I turned on the TV to kill some time and see what was on. I found two or three "Christian" shows on, none of which were giving out sound Biblical teaching. One was getting me really mad, trying to get people to make "vows" where they'd give money to the guy. The dude would sit there and read stuff out of his Bible, and say "The Lord is shun baba yama hala lama the anointing is strong here, bablala someone here is going to tap into this power, I know it" etc etc. He was like a stinkin psychic friend but he had a Bible open in front of him and was using Jesus' name all the time. Grrrr.

One of the other things I saw was an infomercial wherein two midget twin brothers were espousing the wonders of real estate and how they can get you rich quick.

Man, morning TV is a wasteland! More arguments for video games. Or going outside, whatever.


i will live a simple life

I'm back from my trip down to SoCal. LA was interesting - the part we stayed in appeared to be some sort of Korea Town. I went into a Korean market and was interested to find two things. One - there were flatpanel LCD displays hanging from the ceilings with news and whatnot in an otherwise dingy store. Two - there was an "American Food" aisle with things like Frosted Flakes and microwave pizzas and Pop Tarts. On Saturday morning the store had a traffic director with a whistle who tried to manage the large volume of cars entering and exiting the relatively small parking lot. Across the street were a number of Korean protestors holding signs and shouting with a megaphone. I hear they've been protesting there for over a year about working conditions or something...I guess I admire their dedication. I'd just go get a job somewhere else.

My time with Janelle's family was good. I enjoy spending time with them, and feel welcomed and like I belong. I'm glad that the steretype of "the hated inlaws" will not be true in my life.

This week will likely be busy, what with oneeighty preparations and catching up with what I left behind in going to LA.


byrnes rules

Went to the A's season opener last night with some friends. Man that was a good time, especially with Byrnes' 2-run pinch hit in the bottom of the 8th. The A's sure do win in style.

Lineage 2 is now in open beta and the characters are sticking around into retail. Any of my recreational computer time is spent there, trying to keep up with my more hardcore buddies. It is a pretty fun game...but without the other guys to play it with it'd get boring before too long, I know it.

I've had a sore throat for the past few days...I'm hoping it doesn't turn into anything.

Thursday evening I'm leaving with the Cornelio family to attend a funeral in Southern California, will be gone for the Easter weekend. I will miss my Crossroads family on this weekend - will be the first Easter I wasn't there since 1996 I think. But I will be spending it with my future in-laws. Anyway just thought I'd share that. I have been pretty quiet lately. Blame Lineage for sucking up my computer time.