i want the bash brothers

I got to watch the A's game on TV today. Great game. Piece of crap ending. I turned it off after Bradford gave the Angels two runs. There's no reason a great pitcher like Zito should get a no decision after pitching lights-out for seven innings. Seattle lost tonight too, so the A's would've been able to pick a game up if they'd managed to win. Well, now we get to play the Indians while Seattle beats up on Detroit.

So I finally formatted that e-mail conversation about Calvinism I mentioned earlier. You can find a link to it on the left there, as well as right here. Hopefully it's readable and interesting for ya. I appreciate comments and feedback, both on the formatting and on the ideas within the e-mails. I'm glad that I can discuss these sort of things with Kevin and have it remain just as a discussion and not turn into some kind of ad hominem fest like so many theological hot-button issues can. Anyway, give it a look if you're so inclined. I think it's terribly interesting reading, with two stellar authors. A-hyuck.

Snapster. Could this be the future of music? I wanna get in on that IPO, man.

Harden is off to a great start. If this guy develops as everybody around the A's hopes...we could have a fourth ace. I mean, dude...Mulder-Zito-Hudson-Harden? Now if only the A's would pick up some good offense for these guys. Who could stand in our way?

This is sad to see.

My old commenting host, KlinkFamily, appears to have suffered catastrophic failure. They have failed me and now must pay the price. They've been replaced by HaloScan. We'll see how that goes. The good thing is you can now say wonderful things about me with your comments. The bad thing is all the old comments were lost.

hands down

As previously mentioned I'm carrying on a long e-mail conversation with Kevin about Calvinism and all that good stuff. It's pretty interesting and quite the time sink. I think I'm going to try to get the formatting right and pretty so you all can read up on our exchange if you're interested. It feels so good to be exercising my mind again, geeze. It can be so easy to go through life secure in what you think and/or believe and never really examining the what or why. Not even just introspection - it just seems like a lot of the way the world works is geared towards not having to use your head. I've heard people say that e-mail and IMs have destroyed literacy and written communication. May not be too far from the truth. We need to work hard to keep our minds sharp since we don't really need to use them to survive.

I am having trouble determining whether or not I am productive on a given day. That's probably a sign that I'm not being productive. I did a fair bit today to get my office ready, I might work on it some more tomorrow and finish that up. I will soon institute office hours and force myself to do certain work at certain times.

Saw somebody yesterday while driving that I hadn't seen in over a year...and before that it had been about a year...and we hadn't really talked. I was happy we were able to smile at one another.

it shouldn't be this hot at 1am, really

Saturday I had two parties to attend. One was Marla and Justin's engagement party. I ended up leaving about 15 seconds before the food was served, but I had a pretty good time anyway. I did feel somewhat out of place, as I didn't know the majority of the people there. I did get to see a couple people I haven't seen in a long time so that allowed me a bit of social respite. Before they showed up I spent most of my time walking between the snacks and the couple people I did know, trying not to look or feel pathetic for not hamming it up with strangers. It was good to be able to celebrate a little with Marla and Justin though, I am really happy for 'em and they deserve the best. The coolest thing I saw was Justin's son Luke running up to Marla when she was showing us into the party. For some reason I thought that was Very Good (TM).

I went back to Adam's going-away party after leaving Marla's mansion in Sunol. Adam of course is one of my best, oldest friends, the loan shark from 7th grade turned buddy. He's traveling to Japan for at least one year with the JET program. Again at this party I saw a few people I hadn't seen in a long time and that's always nice. The party did inspire certain weird feelings in me, however.

I never went away to college, having attended a junior college in Fremont and then Cal State Hayward. Adam was at Cal and for a while I visited him and his friends up there often, often enough to the point where I considered many of them my friends. I associate them heavily with college memories and fun memories, as getting out of Fremont immediately makes doing anything that much more exciting. I could go sit at a coffee shop in Berkeley instead of a coffee shop in Fremont and feel like I did something 10 times better. But anyway it was one of those times where in my head I was getting the feeling that one part of my life was definitely closing up. Never again would the bunch of us sit around in Adam and Andy's sty of an apartment trying to decide where to go. I mean, Chris lives in San Jose, Andy in Emeryville, Jasmine in San Mateo, Nancy in the City, Adam in freakin' Japan...so even though I never lived up in Berkeley with these guys I felt a sense of...nostalgia(?)...at Adam's on Saturday. How much moreso for them? I am excited for where my life will be heading soon, but that doesn't stop me from missing what's just passed. Seeing Jeff and Matt also sparked such feelings in me, as these were guys I spent much of my time with from, in Jeff's case, 5th grade, and now we barely ever see each other. Sometimes growing up is overrated. So many different people and relationships to keep up, that I want to keep up - and that's not to mention work responsibilities etc.

I suppose that's enough unformed thought for one evening.

I've been in a 'discussion' with a friend of mine for the past week or so talking about Calvinism. It has challenged me to delve into the Bible like I haven't in a long time and to do some investigation, so that's good. Our responses are taking longer and longer to get back, as we get more and more into it. The funny thing to me was that my arguments with Kevin regarding what I see as a lack of free will in his viewpoint seem similar to Adam's discussion with me about free will. Maybe I'll elaborate more on that later. I personally think everyone should just admit that I'm right about everything and make the proper adjustments in their lives. That would make everything better.

/sarcasm

it should be a lot harder to get and keep a driver's license

This is a sad news story. The thing I noticed though, was that the Police Chief for Santa Monica is named James Butts. Can you imagine growing up with a name like that? I'd imagine it'd either drive a person to a sociopathic criminal life, or into law enforcement. Thank goodness for the choice this guy made, and thank goodness for small miracles: like the fact that I wasn't born with the name "Butts."

i wished it all away

While at Cornerstone I picked up the new Brave Saint Saturn CD. I am really fond of it, been listening to it almost nonstop for the past few days. There are a couple of tracks that are poems, between the songs. Here is one of them.

deepest oceans of despair
this vast and somber charcoal night of space
have you given up yet
what hope lingers in the crevasses and corners of your soul
i know you
you haven't given up yet
you are brave in this darkness, saint saturn
sometimes the bravest thing of all is to hope
~Atropos, Brave Saint Saturn

binary star, you're the brightest blue by far

Everyone's going to the hospital these days. Kirstin, one of my students, ended up there last night. Her parents didn't know exactly what was up. She's had a bad fever, rash, platelet count, etc. The last couple days she's had to answer the same questions over and over, have countless things poked at her, and been mostly bedridden. I went with Rudy to see her today and she looked alright, she's handling it like a trooper. We are hoping and praying that whatever's wrong isn't too serious and that she'll be back up and spazzing in no time.

I found an interesting article today, courtesty of pjammer. A guy at a video game site posted a review of real life as if it were a video game. You may like it, especially if you're into video games. I found it amusing, the way he translated a lot of game terminology into real life (such as calling bad parents "griefers" and so on). The funny thing is, reading it, I'm thinking "dude, what a kickass game."

smorgasboard

So I am in the process of devising a name for the new church-within-a-church that I am a part of starting this fall. I have a number of candidates but I'm not sure what to go with. I want the name to sort of encapsulate the idea of what life with Christ is supposed to be. I think that's what I want anyway. I don't want to fall into the trap of picking some cheesy name though, or using a latin word cause it's cool to use latin words. That being said, I have a number of latin or latin-sounding words as candidates. If you feel so inclined, and the commenting utility is working, let me know what you think about some of these. If you can't comment, feel free to drop me a mail about it.

consummo \ contineo \ libero \ libertas \ anhelo \ anima \ vita \ vivo \ renewal \ awaken \ wake \ essence

Right now the title of "be" has been in my head, but I've received no responses other than people laughing at me when I tell them about it. So those are the ideas running through my head right now. Ideas, suggestions, etc are welcome.

On an unrelated note...I think I should change the banner up atop my site. I don't know if I can still call myself a "recent college grad." Aside from that it seems a little pretentious to me. I think I made it on a day when I'd looked at a bunch of other blogs, some of which took themselves quite seriously, and it may have rubbed off a bit.

that's CAPTAIN Jack Swallow

Yesterday I got a call from Laura, who I haven't seen in too long, and we ended up seeing a couple movies with her cool cousin Paul. For a 12-year-old that guy was a big storehouse of movie quotes. Not only that, but he knew when to use them. The boy will be a heartbreaker; especially with that dye job on his hair. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean and I spent much of the time marveling at how gorgeous Natalie Portman was. At first I wasn't sure it was her, but about fifteen minutes in I decided it was, it had to be. So I get home and I start reading a few reviews about how this Keira Knightley starred in the movie...and it turns out Natalie Portman was nowhere near it. As it turns out Knightley played Sabe, one of Amidala's decoys, in the Phantom Menace. So there is precedent for the two of them looking alike; I mean, they could be twins. Anyway, Pirates was a very entertaining movie, and you should go see it, if only for Johnny Depp's awesome performance. We watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen late last night. It was a pretty good action movie I suppose - definitely no POTC - but entertaining enough. Anyway, a good day in a surprising way, didn't expect to see Laura - and I managed to fit in dinner with Adam, Danny, and Masa.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to speed. Well, here's Jesse's take. Because LJ sucks I can't link directly to his entry - but find the one titled "speeding" and behold a snapshot of how Jesse works. I find it somewhat amusing that he spent a number of days in San Diego, and Kansas City - but he doesn't get around to updating his journal until the day he's canoeing in the bayou.

supernovar in the sky

Yesterday Chris, a recent addition to the youth ministry team and all-around great guy, fell from a ladder and broke two vertebrae in his back. He had surgery last night, from what I know he's doing okay. But he apparently lacks medical insurance and the worker's comp situation is iffy at best. Frances and I may go visit him today. Anyway if you pray, toss a few up for his family.

On a lighter note Canada appears to be upset that they were ranked below the United States in a quality of life report courtesy of the UN. "Canadian media reported that 89 percent of the country had 'an absolute conviction that we have a better quality of life than the United States.'" I'd say sour grapes, but they probably don't even have grapes in Canada. Well, no grapes besides the ones we export to them. Muaha.

Have you seen this? There are very short clips from indian movies, and you get to put subtitles to them. All of the Shokatas (the preferred name for these shorts) I've seen are directly related to Planetside and would therefore not be funny to any of you. Feel free, however, to create your own, send them to me and give me hearty chuckle. Hearty chuckles are too few and far between in this workaday world of ours.

This doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but those of you that played any of the Zelda games should find it halfway amusing.

From this article:

Ebony Sunshine Jerido, 23, who is studying dramatic writing at New York University, says that telemarketers symbolize the loss of privacy in her life, and she said she wonders whether they are gathering information about her and how they might be using it. She is so concerned about privacy that she will not sign up for do-not-call lists because she does not want the government to have her number. She plans instead to get caller ID and call blocking, services that give her more control over the calls she answers.

If this woman is so paranoid, it's pretty stupid to tell all this stuff to the press. I'm just saying.

don't kid yourself, you need a physician

Okay, so I'm home. My two weeks of craziness are over. I don't especially feel like writing an in-depth review of everything, and you don't much feel like reading it. So I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye here. I will give you some of the highlights, and some thoughts that are running through my head as a result of the last couple weeks.

While at camp I was overcome with a certain something. While listening to a speaker's sermon, I realized I'd already heard it about a hundred times. And so had most of the kids in the tent. I was struck by the futility of it all; in the church so many times we tell and re-tell ourselves the same things, but it never makes a difference. We continually pound into our heads these various principles, but our lives are rarely changed. So what in the heck is the point of giving these sermons? Why do we bother? People aren't changed by it. I want to discover how to inspire people, including myself, into living life for Christ for real. I'm tired of banging my head against a wall, and I'm tired of living life the same old way. Something must be different.

My thoughts regarding Cornerstone... Everything there seemed so simple. Of course I was going to talk to and be friendly with those people I didn't know. Of course I was interested in finding out about the people next to me. I wanted to put a sign up at my campsite that just invited people to stop in and say hey, to have a chat with a total stranger. What's keeping me from doing that here? When I return home everything seems to become more complicated. So how much of that is actual complication and how much is me just adding layers and stress that don't need to be there? I want to be a part of a community like the one I experienced at Cornerstone, where I can just be concerned with caring about the people around me and enjoying them, rather than looking good or worrying about anything like that. I want to be just as welcoming IRL as I felt there. I want things to be as simple here as they were there...is it possible?

I'm keeping this short because I myself don't tend to read very long posts. So I have more thoughts, but I'll end this post with a few bands that made an impression on me at Cornerstone. I could list off all the bands I saw but instead I'll just give you the few I feel you must check out.

Anathallo. My jaw literally dropped when I heard these guys play. They were absolutely incredible. You can download a couple songs from their website and hear what I'm talking about. Not only was the music great but their hearts were incredible - they were clearly worshipping on stage and their hearts were so about God and so not about being Rock Stars. But they were even honest about the temptation to feel like Rock Stars. I was terribly impressed; it almost felt like I was hearing music again for the first time.

Cool Hand Luke. Similar to Anathallo, these guys blew me away and I wasn't expecting it. The show I attended was actually their guitarist's last; it was very emotional and I almost felt like I was intruding on family business. They're stellar though and you should check them out. Their CD's only ten bucks and well worth it.

Robert Randolph and the Family Band. If you ever have a chance to see these guys live, do it. The energy they created was enormous and everybody in the tent was moving. You knew they were having a great time playing too. A good mix of funk-blues-rock...the most fun I had at a show, aside from John Reuben.

Demon Hunter. They're hardcore, and with a name like that you know they rule. I was expecting to hate them because I just wanted a shirt of theirs very badly, but they are in fact a pretty cool band if you're into the hardcore stuff. Now I can wear a shirt and not be a total poser. Rule.