10.23.2002

Yesterday we had our staff meeting at church as we do every Tuesday. At the beginning of every meeting we share prayer requests with one another and then pray for them. We do the prayer different ways, sometimes we do what Paul calls "African Style" because he learned it when hew as a missionary in Africa. That's when everyone prays out loud at the same time and eventually when they sense it's time one person speaks up louder than everyone else and closes the prayer. Another way we do it is by just splitting into pairs and praying with that person. For the past two weeks I've been paired up with Billy Hayes, the pastor of Irvington Baptist church, who owns the property Crossroads meets on. His in his sixties I think, probably early sixties though I can't say for sure. His ex-military and has one of the deep resounding voices that you would expect a Baptist preacher to have. He's a super nice guy, I like him a lot. It feels a bit odd sometimes to pray with him one-on-one like that.

I'm not sure I can identify the feeling - maybe that the two of us are so far apart in life experience and everything that it's odd for me to sit there and try to imagine how to pray for him and his wife when they're going through the death of his father-in-law. And I find my mind wandering when I pray to wonder what he thinks of my prayer, am I being irreverent in the way I speak to God, am I praying stupid generic prayers for him, that kind of thing. Of course when those thoughts crop up I shut them up and get back to the business at hand (that is, talking to the creator of the universe). They still come though. Maybe it's a feeling of spiritual inadequacy, I dunno. Just thought I'd mention it.

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