6.21.2005

jeremiah 20:9

I was recently asked what my favorite Bible verse is. It's difficult for me to pick one out, as there are a number of verses that have meant a lot to me at different times.

One verse I keep coming back to, though, is Jeremiah 20:9. It goes like this:

"But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."

So often it seems like trying to share God's word with others is a fruitless endeavor. It feels like people hear but don't listen, people catch glimpses of God and the life He has, but don't embrace it. So many of us (myself included) keep getting drawn back into different things that tear us away from God. It often seems pointless. It's discouraging to spend your time, energy, heart, and soul trying to point people in God's direction, only to watch them walk away.

And sometimes I just want to forget all about it, to walk away and be done with it. Not worry about others or trying to talk about God or His grace or any of it. Sometimes I just want to shut that part of me down. The only problem is, like Jeremiah, I can't do it. There is nothing else. Not that I have reached some spiritual pinnacle - I only hope that I am growing in my understanding of the life I am calling others to. But ministry can be heartbreaking sometimes.

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