7.30.2006

what makes a hypocrite?

Yeah, that's Mel Gibson. This weekend he was arrested for a DUI. Apparently he was driving under the influence on the Pacific Coast Highway in California, 42 mph over the speed limit. He also reportedly wigged out on the deputies when they pulled him over and launched into a tirade about how evil Jews are, and how they are to blame for every war in history. Basically as crazy as he looks in this picture here is how he reportedly acted. He's also not contradicting reports of his crazy behavior, having released an apology today for his "horrific relapse."

I have heard some discussion of his actions, and some have referred to him as a hypocrite for doing this, considering his hyper-conservative and old-school Catholic views that presumably outlaw such things as driving drunk. It begs the question, what makes someone a hypocrite? If you have and advocate a moral code but do something that violates said moral code, does that make you a hypocrite?

A couple definitions I've found list a hypocrite as someone who advocates a view/position they do not in fact hold, or someone who puts on a mask to pretend to be someone or something he is not. I've heard the word itself comes from classic Greek plays, wherein actors were called "hypocrites" because they put on masks to become someone else. Of course a word only has the meaning we ascribe to it, but does doing something that violates your moral code make you a hypocrite?

I personally think that if someone pretends to hold a moral code, or simply says "this is wrong" or "that is wrong" with no intention that such proclamations apply to themselves, then they are a hypocrite. Hypocrite carries a lot of baggage with it - we don't like them because they are fake, they pretend to be something they aren't, they don't practice what they preach. But does that mean in order to not be a hypocrite you have to be perfect? Everybody I know that holds to some form of right and wrong has at one time or another failed to live up to their own moral code. I don't believe I know anybody who believes in such a thing as right or wrong who would claim to have never made a mistake. Does that mean everybody in the world is a hypocrite?

In one regard, I'd say yes. All of us have certain chinks in our moral armor, so to speak. Not only do we all screw up and do things wrong, but there are times when we rationalize our actions in an attempt to find a way around them being wrong. I believe that makes someone a hypocrite. Doing something wrong makes you human, not a hypocrite. If once you've made the error and either noticed it (we all have blind spots) or had it pointed out to you, you try to explain away your behavior as appropriate or find an exception you fit into, then you are being hypocritical. And all of us do this from time to time. We all have times where we are hypocritical and try to make an exception for ourselves when it comes to whatever moral code we adhere to. It would behoove us, if we do not want to be known as hypocrites, to avoid this sort of thing. I say this as someone who specializes in rationalization. Many times I have tried to find a way to make myself look more righteous than I actually am, or convince myself that I haven't actually done something wrong because of this or that mitigating factor. My guess is this is something common to many people. But I think it takes more than that occasionally happening for someone to be branded a hypocrite.

If someone is living a secret life in direct opposition to their professed moral code then they can be labeled a hypocrite. They may regret their actions but the preponderance of their choices and lifestyle would add up to, in my opinion, aggregate hypocrisy. This is the pastor who publicly decries homosexuality and abortion but pays off his mistress to get an abortion so he can save face. It took a number of choices to get to that situation. As I said we all make mistakes and just because we make mistakes we shouldn't be automatically relegated to the status of hypocrite. That being said it is fair to consider someone a hypocrite that routinely does things contrary to their professed moral code. This leads to the idea of grace.

I believe people should be shown grace when they make mistakes. If they are repentant and admit their error we should be willing to forgive them. If someone lives a hypocritical life (like the pastor mentioned above) and earned the label of "hypocrite" then if they are repentant we should be willing to show them grace and not forever relegate them to "hypocrite" status in our eyes. This display of grace doesn't necessitate a revocation of consequences, however. When we make mistakes there are certain consequences, some more severe than others. It is human to make mistakes but we cannot expect to not have to pay any consequences for our mistakes simply because we are apologetic. Someone whose license has been revoked for repeated infractions cannot expect to have their license returned simply because they're sorry. Of course they're sorry, they were caught.

Sometimes it takes being caught to show us the error of our ways, or to have someone point out our own moral inconsistencies for us to see them. I for one hope to give the benefit of the doubt to others. I want to assume they are not being hypocritical when they do something wrong, and I want to be willing and able to show grace and forgiveness when they are shown to be in error. In the same way I want to be able to receive correction when others point out my own moral failures. In the past I have had mixed reactions to being shown my own moral inconsistencies. Sometimes I react defensively, sometimes graciously - but I am always embarrassed. I never want to be a hypocrite, but I fear my status as a human being condemns me to a life of never quite living up to the standards I set for myself. I am quite thankful that God is willing to stick with me throughout this process of life and even when I make horrible mistakes and even when I act like a hypocrite, if I am willing to admit my hypocrisy and move forward He will take me forward. I hope I can show the same grace to others, and that when others share my faults with me I can hear what they're saying without being put out by their reminding me of my humanity. Above all I hope that I will never be labeled a hypocrite, though I know that it is entirely possible since I am a fallible person. The worst kind of hypocrisy would be not giving others the opportunity to make mistakes, when I myself am a mistake-making machine.

7.26.2006

coffee shop etiquette

This morning I was sitting at Peet's enjoying a cup of coffee and getting some work done. Seating is usually scarce at the Fremont Peet's but during the incident I am about to describe it was quite plentiful. At this particular location they have a long bench near the wall. This bench provides seating for two separate tables. I'd been sitting on this bench for about an hour with my stuff spread over the leftmost table. I sipped my coffee and worked while fidgeting with my leg. Chances are if you know me you know what I'm talking about - where you're sitting still but you keep moving one leg up and down. So I was doing that.

After I've been at the table for an hour this old guy sits down on the other end of the bench at his own table, ready to read the morning paper. He's there for a few minutes and then speaks up.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes?" I reply, expecting that maybe he's seen what I'm working on and taken an interest.

"Could you stop moving your leg? It's shaking the bench."

"Uh, sure." I stopped moving my leg.

There were plenty of other places to sit in this coffee shop, plenty of unoccupied seats and tables. But this guy decides to sit down on the bench I've been on and then proceeds to tell me to stop fidgeting. So tell me, am I wrong to think this guy was being rude? Of course I stopped fidgeting, there's nothing manly or "just" about me continuing to fidget because "it's my bench" or "I was here first," but come on. It's my bench, and I was here first! Sit somewhere else!

7.17.2006

vox

So there's a new website out there, it's a social software kind of thing, called Vox. It combines a lot of things, like flickr (pictures), video, audio, blogs, etc. Sort of a combination of MySpace and Blogger and everything else you use to put "yourself" up on the web and even stay in touch with people. I think it's pretty sweet and I'd love it if everyone switched over to it right now.

I think I may also be moving over there for my blogging, but time will tell with that. For now, hop over and check it out. I think anyone can sign up for it. If you need an invite to sign up let me know.

Check out my VOX site.

7.08.2006

my problem with world cup

*the video was removed by FIFA but it showed a bunch of diving*

I realize not all "futbol" is like this, and I actually appreciate it when it isn't. But this is the stuff I saw and hated while watching the World Cup this year.

7.06.2006

Some Mexico Pics are up


Painting Posers
Originally uploaded by thecrossing.
So the first wave of Mexico Pictures - the ones from my camera - are up! All of you who took pictures, I want to get my hands on the pics so I can have some more, because I know a lot of you took a lot better pictures than I did.

Anyway, Click here to see the rest of my Mexico Pics!

6.23.2006

mexico here i come

I'm off to Mexico in the morning for our annual mission trip. We'll most likely be working on the medical clinic we've been working on the past two years. Not sure exactly what we'll be doing though, we never do know until we're there and even then it takes a while to figure out. I hope you have a great week, and I'll be back with lots of pictures and hopefully no stories of gruesome deaths or injury accidents.

6.22.2006

world cup soccer: aka diving and clutching your shin

I just watched the US-Ghana World Cup game and I have to say while I appreciate the pageantry and excitement surrounding the World Cup I'm finding soccer a difficult game to get into. As one guy said on a forum I frequent, soccer appears to boil down to:

you dive into people
get the refs to give you a penalty kick
score
kick the ball downfield everytime you get it
dive some more
??
PROFIT


As best I can tell this is soccer. Lots of grown men running around, crying on the ground as often as possible and doing their best to get fouls called their way. There are some exciting moments, but I don't think I can ever really get into a sport so dependent on faking being hurt and tricking the refs into calling fouls.

6.19.2006

i'm not a basketball fan, but...

Yesterday I watched Game 5 of the NBA Finals. It was actually a pretty sweet game, toward the end the Mavs and Heat were trading points back and forth. Dwyane (his parents spell it that way) Wade came on strong at the end and won it for the Heat. He made the necessary free throws and field goals to bring his team ahead. With his team down by one with 1.9 seconds remaining he made two foul shots to give them the lead. So I'm not much of a basketball fan but games like last nights are why I don't completely hate it.

There are also other teams doing quite well at the moment but for fear of jinxing them I will say nothing else.

6.16.2006

dumb and dumber

Just sharing and caring here. Yesterday I started feeling crappy around dinnertime - we went over the in-laws' for dinner and I barely ate anything. I came home feeling lousy, with my stomach hurting and feeling nauseous. I went to bed early and woke up about 12:30. After a lengthy stay on the can I stood around because I could feel something else comin on. I spent the next few minutes on my knees violently expelling my last few meals...woke up and scared Janelle. It was as if my entire body rebelled against that food and wanted it out. It was probably as hard as I've puked my whole life.

So today was supposed to be a busy day, I'm getting my car fixed, working, attending two high school graduations and a graduation dinner. But I find myself at home with a nasty-feeling stomach and afraid to go more than a few steps away from a toilet. Bah.

6.14.2006

benny hinn



This is funny, and sad, at the same time. I think the music is perfect. I don't think that old guy was really slain in the spirit though. If you watch him he doesn't go stiff and fall like everyone else. He must not have as much faith as the others.

6.12.2006

towing companies are the devil

This morning I got a call from a friend, and I had to help him and another friend retrieve a car that had been towed and impounded. He needed me to help cover part of the payment to get it out of holding from the towing company. They take you to the cleaners.

First you have to pay the police certain fees because your car was towed. Then you have to pay the towing company a towing fee, which in this case was $130, plus a $55/day storage fee. So this guy's car was towed yesterday, and today to get his car back he had to pay the towing company alone $185. So I get there and my friend has cash to pay, and I am planning on paying the remainder of what he owes on my credit card. The woman, which had taken several minutes to even come help us despite the fact that we were the only "customers" there, informed us that they could only take one form of payment.

"No problem," I said. "I'll take the cash, and put it all on my card."

"Jeremiah Perdue?" she asked, looking at my card.

"Yes."

"You're not on the registration for the car."

"Yes I know, it's my friend's, he's right here, you have his driver's license so you know it's him."

"We can only accept payment from the registered owner."

"What? Why?"

"It's company policy. It's to avoid unauthorized payments."

"Well it's clearly authorized, he's right here and you have his ID, I'm right here and you can see mine. So why can't I just pay it?"

"We can only accept payment from the registered owner. We've had worse situations than this before."

"This isn't a bad situation. We're both standing right here and there's nothing unauthorized about this."

"Well it's company policy sir."

At that point I said fine and left to get cash for my portion of the fee. I was so aggravated. I had to go to a liquor store across the street and pay a stupid $1.69 transaction fee to retrieve the cash.

But seriously, those tow truck places are ridiculous. They charge you an initial fee to tow your truck and then $55/day for a car, more if your vehicle is bigger. They've got a bazillion different fees they charge you - and if you don't get your car right away the fees very quickly pile up. I'm all for personal responsibility and not getting your car towed - but the way this whole system works is completely jacked up. Poor people are screwed over big time by it, or people who just don't have enough cash at the moment. The whole thing seems completely unjust and just typing about it now I want to start a crusade against the unfair "business" practices of tow companies. As Michael said, I'm surprised the employees don't wear masks, because they're robbing you. What a racket.

6.06.2006

realistic expectations of church

This weekend I'm preaching at Crossroads, and the topic is "Realistic Expectations of Church." Or maybe it's "church." I'm not sure. But I'm preaching about it. I'm really into the topic, but I'm also finding it difficult to try to communicate. Over the course of my life I've been involved in various churches and in a number of Christian communities, friendships, etc. I've also done a lot of reading on ecclesiology (the nature of the church), thinking about it, talking about it, and all that. I'm currently planning on eventually planting a church or some kind of Christian community. So this topic is near and dear to my heart.

I feel like over all this time when I read something in the Bible about the church - the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ, the light of the world, the salt of the earth, this redemptive and healing community - when I read about this in Scripture it resonates with something deep inside of me. I feel like I get a glimpse of this incredibly beautiful plan for people living in unity and experiencing the best life has to offer - and it's beyond my ability to describe or put into words effectively.

The sad thing is how many times Christians have turned this glorious thing into an ugly, domineering organization. What God intended to be an incredible breaking-in of His Kingdom they turn into building their own kingdoms, trying to get power over others and make them feel inferior, etc. Nothing is more beautiful than the Body of Christ when it's working right, and nothing is more hideous than it being abusive. I only pray that I can encourage people to see the vision God has for His church, and they're able to connect in their hearts to the indescribable beauty that is God's family.

6.01.2006

oops, your daughter's dead!

Check out this article. Apparently two college students were in a car accident - one survived but was in bad shape and in a coma, while the other died. The family of the dead girl thought their girl was the one in a coma, and the coma girl's parents thought their daughter died. They had a memorial service and everything. Now, some time later, the family taking care of the coma girl realized that she wasn't their daughter, and their daughter must've been the dead one.

What the heck?

Read the article here

5.26.2006

ah, freshmen

Today I'm subbing for my friend Sarah - she's a Math teacher. The class I'm currently in is full of freshmen, which are an interesting group of kids in many ways. There's this guy in the class who doesn't seem to fit in. Most of the guys are semi-dorky or your average guys. There's one guy in here who is either part of the popular crowd, or is a bit more popular than the average kid in here. He spends a lot of time talking and trying to make girls laugh. He's interacting with these two girls mostly, saying whatever he can to keep their attention and get them to laugh. The things he's saying to make them giggle are pretty inane but they continue to be amused by his antics. I think if the same thing were happening and I was in a class of Juniors or Seniors, these girls would be rolling their eyes at him instead of giggling. I hope he's able to figure that out as time goes on.

Being here and watching the kids interact is a very visible reminder of how much everybody has a strong desire to be loved and accepted. Freshmen usually aren't as good at hiding that as most people. I'm not saying that's a bad thing - it's fun to be around people who are so obviously conscious of what others think that they're almost cute. But cute isn't the right word. It's also a reminder to me to just be myself and not worry about what others think, because trying so hard to be this way or that way is such a waste of time and energy.