da supah bowl

So finally after two weeks of hype, the Super Bowl is here. As a big football fan, I've been looking forward to the Bowl with some hesitation. Since my team isn't in it, my heart isn't all aflutter about it. I didn't start with a particular rooting interest. I'm also hoping this game turns out better than your typical Super Bowl, which is only slightly more entertaining than watching paint dry. Unless of course your team is in it and they're wiping the floor with the opposition, like the 49ers' last Super Bowl against the Chargers. Even though that game must've been boring for a lot of people, for me it was 3 hours of glory. A coronation, if you will. Unfortunately I think it'll be a little while before we can expect that again from the beloved 49ers.

In the two weeks since the championship games, though, I've developed a rooting interest in one of the teams. I hereby consider the Pittsburgh Steelers the badguys, and the Seattle Seahawks the goodguys. Let us consider a few reasons Pittsburgh can be considered the evil team.

  1. Pitt wears black.
  2. They're called the STEEL-ers. You're not fooling anyone with that homonym crap, Pittsburgh.
  3. Joey Porter said that he could mug both Jerramy Stevens (of the Seahawks) and anybody stupid enough to rely on Stevens for protection in a dark alley. Truly this is a paragon of humanity that I want to see experience the joy of victory.
  4. Black and yellow are bee colors, and nobody likes to be around bees. They sting you for no good reason.
Then we consider the Seahawks, who have been totally walked on by everybody this past two weeks. Nobody is giving them much of a chance against the Steelers. Sure, most of the picks you see have the Steelers winning by one or three points to throw the Hawks a bone, but it's a rare talking head that picks the Seahawks to win. Granted, Pittsburgh trounced the 1-2-3 seeds in the AFC, on the road. That's no small feat. But the Seahawks dominated the NFC from wire to wire, and they have good players too. They've performed when they've needed to and earned their way to the Superbowl, even if they did get to play the 49ers twice. They have a quality offense and a stouter defense than most give them credit for. I hereby declare them the "good" team. Here are my reasons.

  1. Matt Hasselbeck is going bald but refuses to shave that little crown of hair around his head. That's the sign of a true man, and a good guy. He's not beholden to your conception of what a balding man should do. So n'yahh!
  2. Shaun Alexander is generally considered by everyone he's played against as a really nice guy. And check out his smile. Could a smile like that be evil? No way.
  3. They're from Seattle. Nothing evil has ever come out of Seattle!
  4. Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) has picked the Seahawks to win big.
So I'm picking Seattle to win, and I'm rooting for Seattle to win. I'm guessing a 28-24 Seattle win. Matt Hasselbeck or Shaun Alexander will win MVP with a performance where Seattle proves they were better than people thought. But all the talking heads will say "we knew Seattle was good, and give them credit for winning" while at the same time they will apologize left and right for the Steelers and how they played dinged up and just ran out of gas after that incredible run at the end of the regular season and into the postseason. Then Sports Illustrated will sell "Team of Destiny" packs with videos and a special commemorative edition of the magazine in tribute to the 2005 Seahawks, which nobody will buy because nobody cares about West Coast sports.

No comments: